This article is like an asshole inception. I’m writing about being an asshole and the act of doing so makes me even more of an asshole. But I’m owning it, like the true asshole I am.
I’m talking about the concept of ‘pretty privilege’ and how it’s made me behave like a shitty person over the years.
So I got some Botox last year. My friend started a cosmetic injectables business and I am all for supporting friends. I had never had it before and had always been anti. And that’s OK, if you keep that shit to yourself. But when friends had it done, I would be all “Why do you need that? You’re beautiful just the way you are. Why would you spend money on that and not on XYZ? Your face is going to fall off! It’s poison! Ageing is privilege not everyone gets!” and other opinions I should have kept to myself.
You see, before I turned 40, I was looking fresh as daisy. No wrinkles, no sagging, no age spots. I was a f*cking vampire and hung on my inherited pretty privilege. My opinions about ageing gracefully were strong and I even wrote an article about it, which I (mostly) no longer stand by. I didn’t need any ‘work’, so why would anyone else? I was coasting through life with the blessings of good genetics, youth, and the ability to apply flattering makeup. I’m still coasting to some extent, thanks, Mum.
I thought I was being kind to my friends who were getting filled and injected, by telling them they were beautiful just the way they were. But I was just projecting my own ideals onto them, making myself an asshole in the process. Just because I didn’t think I needed it, why should I try to stop others from choosing that for themselves? Was I scared that they would hog all the pretty and my privilege would be taken away from me? Maybe? What an asshole.
And this is what I see in comments online all the time. Someone posts about getting something done, choosing to improve themselves in some way, and every one piles on with ‘good intentions’ to let them know they don’t need it or ask why they would do that to themselves. “But you were beautiful before!” No shit! Not everyone getting stuff done hates themselves. We’ve just got more options these days, so why not take them? I tried Botox because I was giving out an opinion on something I had never experienced. I made the decision to stop being an asshole and see what all the fuss was about. Did I need it? No. Can I go through life happily without it? Yes. Do I love myself just the way I am? Absolutely. Am I going to try it again? Shit yeah! And I’m going to give fillers a go too. Suck it.
So next time you feel like giving your opinion on someone else’s choices, just check your own privilege/jealousy/insecurity. Your ‘kind’ comment is not required. You’re kinda just being an asshole.
Love, Kate x